Sunday, December 21, 2008

Christmas Shopping......


I know I shouldn't bitch that much since I left some of the Christmas shopping until last minute. But if people followed some simple rules, shopping would be so much easier. Here are a couple things people should do which could possibly lower their blood pressure and stop people from using curse words and violence.


  • Most obvious, start shopping earlier....easier said then done

  • See if your mall is offering a shuttle to other parking lots (don't use this will a full family)

  • Use mass transit if possible

  • drop your wife and kid at the door to the mall and park a few blocks away, then go and get the car and pick up the wife and kid at the door (this will also score points with the wife since she doesn't have to walk in the cold)

  • When doing the endless circles to find a parking stall keep a look out for families (little kids are crazy at this time of year so they're not paying attention to cars). Also, when you spot a person leaving, have a look around at all angles that approach the stall so that you don't waste your time if someone was already waiting (I got scoped today by a young jack-ass in his truck because 2 cars were leaving side by side and the dude in front of me had the first one, and I should have gotten the second, but the young ass came from a different direction and couldn't see me waiting so when the car backed out he sped into the spot so I couldn't get it...jerk...or as I called him !#*k face)

  • when in the mall, do not decide to have a long conversation in the middle of the walking path of people, move to the side dummy

  • do not walk on the heels of people, it annoys the piss out of them and you'll be thought of as a pick pocket and might find yourself with a punch in the mouth

  • when ringing out your stuff, be sure it is yours and not the persons behind you...use the grocery store logic here...people do not want to stand for hours while you and the clerk sort out your shit with the other persons...ass

  • when in the food court, decide what you want in the line, do not review the menu, think and decide when you get to the clerk...are you new ?

  • if you're in line at a cash register..GET IN LINE..don't stand 4 feet back, and roll your eyes at people who scoop you...who knows why you're standing there...if there is enough space for 2 of me to walk between you and the cash line, then you're not in line....you're just loitering

  • [for the younger crowd] if you and your 4 buddies decide to have a conversation in the DVD/CD store, get the hell out of the way when the guy with the baby stroller comes down the aisle. Go discuss the 'hot chicks in the mall' at the food court or Starbucks.

  • When in the food court, eat and get the hell out. This is not the time of year to have an hour long coffee and meaning full discussion about the current political situation. This is the time to eat your taco, finish, and get up and gone. Have your discussion as you walk away (find one of those comfy chairs the grampa's and dad's usually are in)...AND CLEAR YOUR DAMN TABLE...is it really that hard ????

  • if you are not in a wheel chair or do not have a kiddie stroller, DO NOT TAKE THE ELEVATOR. Use your legs up the stairs or escalator you lazy mess.

These are just a few suggestions after just returning from the mall.



3 comments:

grammalinda said...

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch! :)

ideahamster said...

oh but I love blocking pathways in malls, especially since I was done shopping last week. And I love especially how frustrated people get when I let my child run crazily around and cut them off willy nilly! wahahahaha

boywonder said...

Your flip flopping a bit there fella. First you tell the punk kids to go hang out at the food court, and then you tell them to eat and move on. So... which is it.

Keep this up, and you'll join Mike Duffy in the senate.